Where did that resolve go?

Come the end of January and most people who tried to give up their bad habits will by now have fallen right back into them, research says.  The most popular New Year’s resolutions are to stop smoking, drink less alcohol, eat healthily, exercise more and get into shape.

The problem with dramatic change is that it is much harder for most people to stick to than a more gradual change.  A sudden lifestyle shift is not a belief that we have built on and therefore we cannot sustain it for long. More thought, preparation and planning is needed to making lasting change if it is going to work.

So instead of feeling a failure at this time of the month, we could look to January as just the beginning of making actual real change.

Bad Habits

As Mark Twain said:  ‘Habit is habit, and not to be flung out the window by man, but coaxed downstairs, a step at a time. ‘

Certainly this is the method that suits many of us including me.  My stopping smoking was a gradual affair, much the way I started.  When I did finally did stop I had to go through all four seasons at least once before I could go on a night out and not think about having a cigarette.  I struggled through winter days of hot coffee and no cigarette, lovely red wine casserole and no cigarette, celebrations, holidays, BBQ’s and many stressful events before I had proven to myself that I could do all of them,  throughout each season, without the need of a cigarette. Once I had the proof, the belief, I was never going back.

Our basic human motivation is to be the best person we can.  New Year helps us to reflect and identify areas of ourselves that we would like to improve and it is a good time to start working on being a better person.

What do we need?

Psychologist Abraham Maslow wrote a hierarchy of human needs which explains our higher and lower needs in the form of a pyramid.  Our lower needs the basic physiological needs of food, warmth, shelter and rest, which is what we naturally tend to focus on in these cold, dark winter months. 

I believe we are going against our natural rhythms by trying to drive ourselves through dramatic changes at the wrong time of year.  Why not let the seasons help us.

What do we want?

We could spend our winter as a time to reflect, evaluate, and become more self-aware.  We could become mindful of our thoughts and behaviour patterns, and gain a better understanding of our emotional and physical selves on these dark evenings before we enter into a real commitment to make the changes we really want. This is the first step in creating lasting change.

For one to one Skype coaching sessions contact Susan on susan@susanloveday.com or visit www.susanloveday.com for more information.