Change is in the Air

‘It’s not that things are difficult that we don’t dare;
it’s because we don’t dare that things are difficult.’

 -    Lucius Annaeus Seneca – Roman Philosopher

For many adults daring to take on the challenge of change takes great courage.  Even the smallest of changes are so easily put off.

When we were babies we were unaware of the obstacles of change.  We hadn’t learned yet the complex weight of if’s, what’s and buts that might stand in our way.  When a baby attempts to crawl it has the instinct to move and the curiosity to explore, so off it goes.  Its successive attempts to walk are the same.  The baby doesn’t have a seed of doubt that it can’t walk, so it tries, falls down, learns from its mistakes then tries again.  The baby gets lots of praise, encouragement and help during its attempts.

The baby grows in confidence then after many failed attempts it eventually walks unaided, never going back to not knowing how to walk ever again.  It may have a few more stumbles but after its first steps the baby has built up a belief in itself that it can walk which sustains it through the stumbles until it has full control over its gait.

All that prevents us from daring to change are the learned patterns and programmes from our past which hold us back as we tell ourselves:

-          We might fail miserably and lose any slight confidence we may have had

-          We might make ourselves look foolish if we don’t succeed

-          Because creating new patterns can be difficult, it is easier to procrastinate and avoid them

-          We have tried before and it didn’t work

-          We let others influence us who would rather we didn’t change

If you look at the odds that we stack against ourselves it is understandable that we put off our attempts to make change.

Eventually we fall back into our old routines dissatisfied, that even though we considered change, we weren’t willing to work at it long enough to achieve success.

If the changes you seek are down to bad habits and therefore detrimental to your physical or emotional health then surely they are worth the effort to keep attempting them.  Make this your year.

Spring will soon be upon us and there is no better time to attempt change than this time of year when everything in nature is changing and growing. 

The long term benefits of your efforts are bound to be worthwhile as you are already aware, and imagine one day looking back and wondering why you made it so hard on yourself for so long, instead of just doing it.

For one to one Skype coaching sessions contact Susan on susan@susanloveday.com or visit www.susanloveday.com for more information.

Winter of Life

Ruminating the seasons I realise that I am in the autumn of my life, my daughters are in the summer of theirs and my parents in their winter.  As nature replaces vigour with wisdom we go through life’s cycles.

I am in a reflective mood as I enter my new age, measuring my achievements of the past and planning changes for the future.  Family and friendships come high on my list as I decide what I want to Be, Do or Have this coming spring.  Nurturing our relationships comes natural to most women.  We are hard-wired to be this way which is why it is so important to manage our relationships well, keeping us in balance.

New friendships are full of surprises.  I have a very dear friend Doris who is in the winter of her life.  She is ninety one and is my greatest inspiration.  I have only known her for a couple of years but feel I have known her all my life.  Like anyone of her great age she suffers with aches and pains, though she laughs and brushes them off with a ‘Well I can’t complain.’

When I spend time with her I am calm, happy, contented and completely myself.  I never want to leave.  She doesn’t try to impart her wisdom on me, she is just wise and I just recognise it.  They say ‘teach them how you live’ and she does just that.  She is calm, happy, contented and completely herself.  She has life sorted.

Doris doesn’t sit back and observe life; she takes each day and decides what she is going to make of it, grateful that she has been granted it.  She has lots of projects on the go, sending parcels abroad, growing tomato plants from seed and emailing her friends and family overseas.  She cooks her home grown vegetables and is always being visited by her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  She is a treasure. She has an open mind and is open to new ideas.  She is an optimist.  I also know she is very rare. 

You don’t come across a Doris every day and I am lucky to know her.   She has given me hope that if I am fortunate to reach the winter of my life that I have the most amazing role model to emulate. Just now, she makes me feel like I’m just a bairn, which of course I am from her perspective.

‘But like of each thing that in season grows.’  - William Shakespeare

For one to one Skype coaching sessions contact Susan on susan@susanloveday.com or visit www.susanloveday.com for more information.

 

Winter Preparation - Opportunity out of Adversity

This morning on the radio I was listening to an interview with Professor Alan Watson who has spent forty years studying cosmic rays.  He says ‘These rays are the most energetic particles in nature.’  When asked what they are he says: ‘They are charged particles from outer space and a million of them go through your body every night.  He also says ‘We are biologically adapted to them.’

When asked what had sparked the Professor’s interest in physics he said that as a boy towards the end of the war he contracted Polio and spent a year in bed.  At the time his father was a grocer.  Rationing coupons were still being issued and his father gave him the bacon and cheese coupons to count before he sent them off to the ministry. After a year, his fascination for number was established.

While listening to this I was reminded of my own misfortune when in my early 30’s I fell down the stairs and hurt my back.  I had a slipped disc and after weeks of traction and bed rest I was eventually given physiotherapy and sent home with a list of exercises to perform on a regular basis.  Like most of us I expect, I did the exercises until I felt okay than slipped.  After only a few days, the pain began to return and still does today if I don’t keep on top of my exercise routine.

I had no choice but to build exercise into my daily life and as a consequence I am fitter today than I would have ever been, had I not had the fall.  It not only created the need for regular exercise but also sparked off my interest in self-help and motivation.

Over the years I have adapted my exercise routines and continue to alter them according to the seasons and the weather.  That extra hour of daylight we now have as the earth begins to warm, brings with it that wonderful feeling of change.  The first yellow crocuses open up offering inspiration, those hardy harbingers of spring that have pushed through the frozen earth lift me and remind me that there is so much more to come.

I believe just as we have biologically adapted to Professor Watson’s cosmic rays, we have also biologically adapted to the seasons. As we begin to feel the stirrings of growth in the great outdoors, we also feel our own readiness for fresh air and exercise.

Sometimes we may have to look that bit harder or from a different point of view to gain our opportunity from adversity. But look and you will find, what is unsought will go undetected.

"Out of adversity comes opportunity.” - Ben Franklin (1706–1790)

“Every adversity carries with it the seed of equal or greater benefit.” -- Napoleon Hill

For one to one Skype coaching sessions contact Susan on susan@susanloveday.com or visit www.susanloveday.com for more information.

 

Winter Preparation – Emotional Cycles

Looking back to when I was forty two I realise my self-awareness was pretty much non-existent. 

It was the month of May.  Bluebells carpeted the woodland walk we were on, when I was physically jolted when my husband raised the question ‘Had I noticed anything different about my behaviour?  His questions were tentative as only a couple of days before we had had a full blown row about a minor matter that I cannot recall. Of course I dismissed the question entirely, defending myself, as you do, and blaming my bad behaviour on other circumstances.  I started my period two days later.

I had niggling doubts that things were not quite right as I realised and admitted to myself that what used to be my one PMT day had now turned into about seven.  The kids had been ducking and diving around me at that time and it was obvious to everyone but me that I had changed.

After a blood test confirmed that I was peri-menopausal I got my head down to learn as much about the menopause as possible.  I had been as regular as clockwork and still was, but my cycle now included fluctuations in my hormone levels that affected my emotional state and at those times I was a complete bitch to live with.

Knowledge is power and though there is little we can do about our changing hormonal patterns, at least by admitting it to ourselves we can see when we are likely to be at our most vulnerable emotionally. I began logging my cycle.  As well as understanding myself better it helped when planning holidays, weekends away, when to start something new, and more to the point, when not to. 

I urge you to do the same.  Write down your cycle dates and keep a log on how you feel physically and emotionally at this time.   Knowing where you are on this score will help you use your self-awareness to your own advantage rather than waiting for that hated question, ‘Is it that time of the month darling?’ when you could gladly throttle him on the spot.

For one to one Skype coaching sessions contact Susan on susan@susanloveday.com or visit www.susanloveday.com  for more information.